


Run Away

by demonshide7



Series: No. X - Titles [2]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band), yunjae - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Male to Male relationship, YunJae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 22:32:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7288702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonshide7/pseuds/demonshide7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yunho is faced with a sad song... while serving in the army...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Run Away

 

 

 

Run Away

Kim Jaejoong stepped out into the sunshine and immediately regretted getting up that morning.  Unfortunately, military life did not pick and choose when or even what time to get up.  The coffee of whoever bumped into him was now plastered over him.

He had been talking with his CO about another military performance, etc and the songs he could sing from his repertoire. 

“Private First Class, Jung,” his CO commanded.  “You should at least apologize.”

“I’m sorry, sir!” Jung Yunho stood in attention.  “I did not see where I was going, sir.”

Jaejoong let out a breath.  So he was here.

“Corporal Kim, please go and change.  And get to my office in 30,” the CO commanded.  “PFC Jung, come with me.”

“Sir, yes, sir!” they both saluted the CO.

Jaejoong marched off back to his barracks and took out his clothes and laid them out as he stripped his soiled fatigues.  The coffee had seeped all the way into his underwear.  He tsked.  He had to take a shower.  A very quick shower.

His hair hardly dry, he stepped into his CO’s office surprised to see Jung Yunho still standing at attention facing his CO’s desk on the side.

“Corporal Kim reporting, sir!” he greeted.

“At ease,” the CO said.  “Sit, Corporal.”

“Sir, yes, sir!” Jaejoong answered.

“Jaejoongie,” the CO started as Jaejoong sat.  “Be informal for now.  Let’s discuss the plans.”

“Yes sir,” Jaejoong answered.  Although he said to be informal, it’s not really an invitation to call him by his given name. 

“There is a request to sing Runaway from your latest album,” the CO said.  “In fact, the list of songs requested are Just another girl, Rotten Love, Now is Good, Runaway, Only Love, Let the Rhymth flow, Mine, Creation, Dear J.  There was a request for Doushite, a Japanese…”

Jung Yunho had twitched and the CO noted it.

“You have something to say, PFC?”

“No, sir, no!” Yunho answered.

“At ease, soldier, but remain standing there,” the CO said. 

Jaejoong watched as Yunho relaxed his stance. 

“As I was saying, Doushite… but that was retracted as there was concerns over whether SM would even allow it.  Plus, it was when there was 5 in Dong Bang Shin Ki.  And…”

Yunho had made another movement that caught the CO’s eye.

“He’s feeling uncomfortable, sir,” Jaejoong explained.  “After all, he’s the new Dong Bang Shin Ki or the old one.  And he probably feels like running away right now.”

The CO turned away from Yunho. 

“PFC Jung, stand in the corner behind my chair,”  The CO commanded.

Yunho went to comply.

“Corporal, the request is from one American Marines who will be our special guest.  It is understood that you may not sing all that was requested, so special emphasis was asked for Runaway, Just Another Girl and Let the Rhythm Flow,” the CO listed.

“Who is the guest, sir?  If I may ask?” Jaejoong asked.

“A very beautiful sharp shooter,” the CO said.  “Probably your type.  She likes your music well.”

“Is she a fan?” Jung Yunho asked.

The CO chuckled.  “I didn’t give you permission to speak PFC.  Attention!”

“Sir, yes, sir!  Sorry, sir!”

“I will answer.  She said it’s not so much that she’s Kim Jaejoong’s fan.  It’s not that.  She thinks his voice is very good.  She likes Dong Bang Shin Ki as a whole… as five.  Doushite is the finest form of them singing.  She said Kim Jaejoong’s voice drips with emotions and the three emphasized were ones she liked where Kim Jaejoong’s voice shone… Oh, for the love of God!!!  PFC Jung Yunho, grab that chair and sit down and say what you have to say!” the CO exploded.

Jung Yunho rushed to comply.

He turned to face the other soldier.  “First, I’d like to point out that I don’t run away.  I avoid situations, yes, but I don’t run away.  Next.  There is no way I’m just another girl.  And Doushite?  Because you know why.”

Kim Jaejoong bent his head and laughed silently.

"There is a distance between you and I, and it’s a great wall you dare not climb over.  I knew this, long ago, Yunho.  You keep running away from it.  This wall…”

“And you’re too ready to embrace it!”  Yunho protested.

“I don’t plan on living forever, Yunho.  I don’t plan on waiting forever either.  Don’t ask that of me.  If you can’t face that wall and at least try and scale it… then… it’s really the end of the road for you… For you and me.  For us…”

“I hate to interrupt the two of you, but what really happened?” the CO asked.

“I was a liability to the company.  So was Yuchun and Junsu. The thing is, they were going to cut us off, but even then, they would have made us pay back the investment they say we haven’t paid back yet.  That’s what the lawsuit was really about.  For a while, Changmin and Yunho were with us, but Changmin’s father was adamant in staying with SM.  And signed the papers away.  Changmin was a minor still.  Yunho stayed behind.  That was the story,” Jaejoong said. 

“And now?”

“We’re fine, sir.  Except him.  It seems that all my lyrics somehow… he finds them… well… irritating,” Jaejoong said. 

“It’s not like that, sir,” Yunho said.  “It’s just that I needed to clarify a few things with him.  We have to be responsible.  You know that.  We also need to watch how we conduct ourselves.  You know that.  Surely you understood after this whole SM thing.”

Jaejoong smiled bitterly.

“Yunho, stop.  They still control us.  Don’t worry about it.  However, Junsu, Yuchun and I.  We can’t run away.  We have to face that wall and we’ve scaled it.  Yeah, I know we have to watch what we do, what we say.  But right now, Jung Yunho, I haven’t seen you.  I haven’t heard from you.  Is it all because of them?  Or are you again running away?  I don’t know anymore,” Jaejoong said.  “Besides.  When I wrote those lyrics, it was a long time ago.  Back when my heart… my soul was in darkness.  When I despaired.  However, the song choices aren’t mine.  Tell them I’ll sing Runaway and Let the rhythm flow, sir.”

“That’s what I thought would be best.  Although, Runaway isn’t a good choice either.  However, given that there were only three… Runaway and Let the Rhythm would probably be best.  I’ll leave the two of you to sort each other out.  I’ll be outside,” the CO said.

The two soldiers stood up and saluted the higher ranking officer.

“Jae,” Yunho began.  “When did I run away?”

“You do it all the time, Yunho.  We skirt the issue all the time.  Friends, right?  Nothing more.  Because responsibility to family and country is more important, right?”

“Please, Jaejoongie.  Don’t ask me to let go.  Don’t ask me to choose.  And don’t ask…”

“I’m not asking you for anymore, Jung Yunho.  In the same way, I’m telling you not to ask me for anything either.  I don’t have guarantees.  I can’t give you any either.  So… run away from me, Jung Yunho because what I am… who I am… who I can be to you… It’s not a wall you want to embrace or scale.  Just run away from it,”  Jaejoong said.  “So, friend… are we done?  I have to practice this emotional singing.  I wonder if I could just switch between JAG and LTRF.  Runaway might take too much from me…”

Jaejoong left Yunho in the office.

~*~

Kim Jaejoong flipped the songs he said he would sing.  He sang Let the Rhythm Flow first and immediately after, he sang Run Away.

“…You can’t say that I didn’t try  
I have no cause for regrets  
Why did you make me fall in love if

You just run away…”

He left the stage immediately and didn’t appear in front of the guests for a long while.  He needed time to compose himself and get rid of the tears that formed over his eyes as well as drink down the lump in his throat.

The guest who requested the songs was seated immediately in front of Kim Jaejoong.  Jung Yunho was asked to sit on Jaejoong’s right.

The lady smiled.  “The songs were great, Jaejoong-sshi,” she said.  “I regret that you didn’t sing JAG.  But Run away seemed that much sadder than when I first listened to it.”

“Ah,” Jaejoong laughed awkwardly.  “It was… it seemed to suit the song today.”

“I see,” she said.  “And Mr. Jung.  The song is November with Love, right?”

“Yes,” Yunho said. 

“I like that one.  Of all the ones you sing, I like that… and Champagne.  But why choose NWL?”

Jaejoong turned away from the scrutiny of one Jung Yunho.

“There’s no need to explain,” the woman said.  “I think I got it.”

“I wish you’d explain to me,” another American Marine officer said. 

The woman laughed.  “You’d have to grow up in my household, Sergeant, to be able to do that.  Sorry.  If it’s unspoken, but understood, it can’t be explained.”

“Kind of like when she shoots at a target from miles away, she’s busy calculating for wind, trajectory and speed and the time to explain all that means a shot could have been lost,” another officer said. 

The woman nodded. 

“Thank you, Jaejoong-sshi, for indulging my request,” the woman said.

Jaejoong bowed his head in her direction.

“So, Jung Yunho… what are you running away from?”

Jaejoong choked on his sip of water.  And Yunho coughed, tears running down his eyes, the small bite of rice and soup going down the wrong pipe.  Jaejoong stood up and pounded the other man’s back while the woman handed Yunho Jaejoong’s cup of water. 

“Sorry, excuse me,” Yunho rasped out. 

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” the woman said.

“What’s with the question?” the other marine asked the woman.

The woman smiled.  “Not a thing.  I was just curious.”

Jaejoong looked at her for a long moment and then he let out a full laugh.  “Noona.  I’m sorry… May I call you noona?”

The woman nodded with a smile. 

“Noona… I think I like you.  You’re very interesting,” Jaejoong smiled at her.

“When you’re not on duty and neither am I, give me a call, Corporal.  Let’s get some coffee together,” she invited.

“I’d like that, noona,” Jaejoong agreed, nodding.

For the second time that night, Jung Yunho choked on a small bite of food. 

 

When the night was over, he thought about her question.  What was he running away from?  And Jaejoong’s song. 

He knew it was for him.  A lot of Jaejoong’s songs were for him.  And what was he running away from?  He was running away from himself. 

Jaejoong’s love wasn’t oppressive.  Jung Yunho’s love was.  He didn’t want Jaejoong in the limelight.  He should only shine for Jung Yunho.  And Jaejoong was such an exhibitionist.  Without the constraints of their agencies, Jaejoong would be… prancing around naked in front of all his fans. Even though the other kept his pants on… Yunho hated anyone else seeing Jaejoong’s exposed skin.  He hated that Jaejoong had to go through hard times and when the stories got back to him about how hard Jaejoong and the other two had it, Yunho wanted to cry.  He wanted to be Jaejoong’s rock, to protect him from all that… and he couldn’t.

What was he running away from?

From smothering the other.  From dousing out his star.  He was running away from himself.  There was no life without Jaejoong, who was he kidding? 

So he took out pen and paper and wrote…

“..Don’t leave me, don’t leave me  
From the place we used to cry and laugh  
Don’t leave me (don’t leave)  
Don’t leave me (don’t leave)  
From the place we used to be together (from the place)

My heart that froze with the cold wind in early winter  
It has changed after meeting you  
Like the heart-fluttering first snow of November  
I am stopped in time like a fool

My heart that froze with the cold wind in early winter  
It can’t say anything else but I love you  
Because of your words, I couldn’t speak or see  
In the memories of November..”

He delivered the note to Kim Jaejoong’s barracks.  And handed it to Kim Jaejoong personally.  Jaejoong looked at him and nodded.

Having read it, Jaejoong sought him out in the mess hall.

“I understand,” Jaejoong said as he scooped out some soup.

Yunho looked at him.  “And?”

“I haven’t left, Yunho.  I don’t run away.”

Yunho nodded.  “Wait a little more.  I promise.  I will run, but this time towards a future with you,” he said quietly.  

The din in the mess hall was loud, but Jaejoong heard the quiet promise.

He nodded.

 

~*~

 

Kim Jaejoong swung his feet over the fishing pier of this foreign ocean.  It was cold, but the spray tickled the 45 year old man’s feet.

“You’ll freeze those toes,” the man beside him said.

“Will you just hurry and pull up dinner?” Jaejoong smiled at the man. 

Yunho laughed at the man beside him and said, “Aye, aye, Captain!”

He pulled up and a large stripe bass was dangling at the end of his line which excited Jaejoong to no end as he hurriedly pulled on his sneakers and went to get the net.  As other fishermen congratulated Yunho on his catch, Jaejoong helped Yunho put the catch inside another bucket. 

“Let’s call it a day, Jaejoongie,” the man said. 

Jaejoong grinned and nodded.  They gathered their supplies and trudged back to the parking lot.  Jaejoong had also caught some crab and there were more fish inside another bucket.  The duo stashed their catch and paraphernalia into the car and drove off.

Their reason for living in the San Francisco vicinity was simple.  Yunho’s father had cancer and he was being treated in UC San Francisco.   A new experimental medicine was developed there and Yunho wanted to give his father the best he could.  The living here was expensive, but with Jaejoong helping out with the expense, he was able to be comfortable.  They did work in South Korea in intervals, but they came back to make sure Yunho’s father was comfortable.  Jaejoong’s extensive family came for one reason or another as did all of Dong Bang Shin Ki.

Yunho’s family, especially his father, finally came around.  Especially after Yunho’s mother died, Jaejoong was Yunho’s rock.  Yunho’s father depended greatly on Jaejoong’s extensive family. 

This night, Yunho’s father and Jaejoong’s father watched as their two sons went about cleaning their catch. 

“Aish, Yunho!  The crab is running away!” Jaejoong was admonishing. 

“It was trying to bite me!” Yunho protested. 

Jaejoong looked at the big man backing away from the crab that fell on the floor snapping its claws at Yunho who was backing away.

Jaejoong sighed.  “You’re just like Yuchunnie,” he chuckled.

Jaejoong steered Yunho away from the crab and towards the back of the crab.  He had Yunho lean down and guided his hesitant hand to pick up the crab from its back end.

Yunho turned away.

“Don’t you dare run away, Jung Yunho!” Jaejoong commanded.

Yunho grinned.  He turned back towards the crab and allowed Jaejoong to guide his hand until he was able to pick up the crab without getting his fingers snapped off.

“How many times have you seen me do this?” Jaejoong asked.  “If you stopped running away, you’d have figured out that the crab can only move its pinchers forward, it can’t move it back!”

Yunho’s father laughed. 

“It’s always good to face your fears, son.  Running away makes them bigger,” Yunho’s father said.

Yunho grinned at his father. 

“That’s why I stopped running away when I was no longer considered lucrative as an idol.  I should have become an actor earlier,” Yunho shook his head.  “Besides, I promised not to run away anymore.  I promised to run towards…”

Jaejoong was busy cleaning a fish when he felt a hand on his arm.

“Aish!” Jaejoong’s abonim exclaimed.  “Stop flirting now!  We’ll eat at midnight if that’s the case!”

“Aish, appa!” Jaejoong said.  “I’m not flirting here!  You can eat the fish like this if you want!”

Yunho and his appa laughed.

“Tell your son to clean more, abonim,” Jaejoong whined.  “I feel like running away!”

“Don’t you dare!” Yunho warned.  “You know if you do, I’m going to run after you.”

“That’s why I haven’t run away yet.  I’m too old to run around anymore!  My body creaks just getting out of bed,” Jaejoong complained.

“Was that your body creaking early this morning, son?” Yunho’s father asked innocently.

Jaejoong blushed, a flush of pink staining his still fair skin.

“That was Yunho,” he muttered underneath his breathe.

Yunho grinned.  “That’s because I am your only love, only love, only love, Forever yeah…”

Jaejoong threw fish guts at him.

“You know you’ll be smelling that in our bed tonight,” Yunho warned.

“He’ll have to scrub you clean, son,” Yunho’s father said.

Jaejoong’s father choked on a gasp of air before laughing loudly.

“Yunho, hurry up and clean the dratted things so you and I can run away after Eommoni and my sister gets here!” Jaejoong commanded.  “Sorry, Appa, abonim.  Yunho will have to go to the event smelling like fish.  We’re invited to that political dinner, remember?  Noona said we’re supposed to get there in two hours.”

Yunho stopped playing around.

 

When Jaejoong’s mother and sister came back from their shopping excursion, Jaejoong and Yunho left.

Jaejoong laughed and said, “Turn into that hotel there, babe!  I know we’re running away for a day, but it’s good, yeah?  Just for one day.”

Yunho turned to face Jaejoong and smiled.  “I’m glad you waited for me.  I had to stop running away sooner or later.  But with your song… I knew I had to stop.  And although it wasn’t smooth, your being with me, I hope you think it’s all worth it.”

Jaejoong nodded.  “It is.  Someone told me once that if you find your soul’s other half, it’s difficult to forget, to think of others, to move on.  Though my regret may be as big as an ocean, you’ve always been my only love.  I can’t run away from that.  There was never any running away from that.  I just wanted you to face that same thing.”

“That I could never run away from my love for you,” Yunho finished.

“Yes.”

“I was running away from myself more, though,” Yunho said.

“I know,” Jaejoong whispered.

“It took a lot, you know.  To allow you to breathe free, to not get so jealous.  To let you go.  And to be with you without suffocating you,” Yunho said.  “I just couldn’t run away from the fact that I was happy when you were happy.  And that’s what has kept me running towards you.  No matter where and no matter when.  As long as I could run to you, I wasn’t going to run away.”

“Same here,” Jaejoong said.  “Did you think it was easy for me?  I knew you wanted children.  I knew having a woman would be more beneficial.  But I bound you to me, shackled you with my love.  It’s a regret, but I still don’t want you to run away.”

“Never again,” Yunho swore. 

 

And it was so.  They may part but they always ran back towards each other.  Running forward, never away, even when the storms hit them, they were always running towards each other. 

 


End file.
